Sunday, August 23, 2015

He replied "I want to love you"

It's amazing to me and blows my mind how much love is gifted to you when you just begin to accept what the universe gives you.
Scarlet is already pushing eight months.. Can you believe it? This little gift of life has been on this fucked up world for 33 weeks! She's sitting up all by herself *with help* and loves to stand.. *also with help*. We have this blanket we put on the ground for her to play on, now? She claims the whole floor. She's crawling backwards and saying Mama and Dada. She's got two teeth poppin through too! B is in the Navy and graduating boot camp here in a few short weeks. Scar is going.. Mommy is not. I don't feel it's my place to go to his graduation.

This man.. Joseph Carper has opened my eyes to so much.. He's making me feel as if there IS a person on this earth that will understand me, my mood swings, my way of talking, my trying to be funny, who will accept me and my daughter as a package. He makes me feel so wonderful and so comfortable with our relationship. We both haven't had someone to call our boy/girlfriend in quite some time and I'm thankful he's mine. He loves and accepts my Scarlet and wants a future with both of us. He wants a FUTURE not just a few month thing.. He wants me/us for the foreseeable future. I honestly can't wrap my head around our relationship.. Yes it's unorthodox how we ended up together but I feel like he entered my life at the most perfect time. He's so unexpected the majority of the time.. The way he makes me feel and the way he looks at me the majority of the time amazes me. It makes me think 'How did I get so lucky?'. I think it every day.. I wonder if he thinks that.. I'm not going to lie, my feelings for him scare the shit out of me. Yesterday he said "I just want you to love me".. little does he know.. I'm more than halfway there.

This past Monday I got my Wisdom Teeth out.. I much rather would have had another baby then to freaking go through that stupid shit again.
This post is short and sweet.. I've kinda got writers block..
with love