Wednesday, July 9, 2014

More changes

I know that it's been a while since I've blogged. A lot has changed in my life. Recently I found out I am pregnant and I am currently 12 weeks pregnant and entering my second trimester of my pregnancy. My life was turned upsidown when I found out I was pregnant. The past few weeks has been a roller coaster ride but I wouldn't have had it any other way (other than the baby daddy drama). I've been searching for a new job, new apartment, new roommate, I'm trying to get into school for a career in fashion merchising and now things for a baby. I'm freaked out I'm a momma but honestly I'm happy. It's weird to know that I have a baby inside of me at the young age of 19 but this baby happened for a reason (other than me being a horney teenager).

I already have a game plan for us; mommy is going to school and when baby is around one maybe two and depending on how school is going and how money is coming in, baby and I are moving to New York. I can get a good job at a magazine and just give baby the life I've always wanted. 

Everything revolves around this little fruit inside my tummy and I'm learning to be less selfiesh and it's refreshing. 

With so much love. 

Monday, March 10, 2014


Waiting two weeks; being verbally abused pretty much everyday. Overly caring about someone who really couldn't care about theirselves well being, today is the day I cut it off. Last night at work, I had a friend of mine come in telling me that whatever I have going on to break it off because they are bad news. And I realized. They really are. I've had my depression go into a low just from them and my self worth has went into an all time low. We all have demons. But why take your said demons out on the person you supposedly care about? Realizing that you're better than the abuse and neglect and the future infidelity may make you upset and lonely right now but in the long run. In the long run I feel I will be the happiest.

With hope and balls. 

Sunday, March 9, 2014


I just can't seem to win at anything. 
I can't ever stay happy. I can't seem to find out what's going on with me. Is it me? Or is it him?

Thursday, March 6, 2014


It's crazy when someone can make you go from one extreme to the next.
You can go from utter happiness to complete sadness.
Maybe there's a lot of things I need to fix, no, I know that I have to fix a lot of things in my life to make myself and others happy. I'm always so busy and focused on making others happy when I get to my low point it's the lowest of the low.
Sunlight, I've heard can actually help with feelings of sadness.
It's been raining and gross the past few days and it's honestly getting to me in the worst of ways.
I'm pushing away people I don't want to push away and it sucks.

Happiness where are you?

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Insomnia At Her Finest

I have yet to be asleep and it is 7:15 in the morning. 
Listening to this big berrly man snore up a storm makes me laugh. 
If sounds so painful. 
I wish I knew what was going on in my mind to prevent me from sleeping even a wink..
What am I stressing? 
Is he sleeping next to me?
I'm sure that's what it is. 
I've grown far too attached to this wonderfully helpless man way too quickly. 
Insomia and I have always been rivals but I'm not sure why she's back..

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Sunshine and Smiles

The past few days have been filled with nothing but laughter and happiness. Staying at the beach is an amazing thing and it really does change the way you think.. The sunshine has decided to return to us and my mood and overall everything has just changed into something better. With all of the crappy weather we've been having here in the sunshine state has made even the best of us just not feeling it. I'm so happy with the sunshine. Living here in Florida was one of the best decisions I've made. I do miss my Hoosiers a hole hell of alot but honestly I wouldnt want to be anywhere else. Today I hit the beach to catch some rays.  I Love 904.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Busy Life Update

The past month has been crazy busy in the life of Joeli. I had this displeasure of having to buy Stacy (my car) new shoes. I was on the way to a house party when I heard a weird sound and my car stopped moving so smoothly.. I pulled over half panicked half laughing I got out of my car and saw that one of her shoes were hurt and flat. I called a few people and my big, Heather Shaw came to the rescue. I had to buy all new tires which of course made me so broke I couldn't even eat. It was a BIG wake up call that I need to get my shit in gear and start saving like the big girl I want to be.

I had the opportunity to take a Manager's Level Food Safety course and passed (thankfully). I was kinda nervous but now have a manager's level food safety card and it is good for the next five years. 

I was in The Ultimate Bridal Fantasy show this year for the wonderful Beth Sullivan. It was so much fun! I modeled for Argie Mitra. Her clothing is so amazing; it's kind of a Bohemian Chic. I was the only one of her models that both opened and closed the show. If you're in the modeling industry and you open or close a show it represents that you know what you're doing and that the designer can trust you to sell her collection. It was so amazing that she allowed me to be both the opening and closer. She is such a talented designer.

I had the pleasure of doing a make-up convention for L'Oreal Paris. It was a great experience and was PAIID! So i mean that's always a plus.
I also was able to work with Void the Magazine recently. I was the Centerfold for the February Issue which they call the "Love Issue". It was Void's first ever "Love Issue". I felt so wonderful and so classy sexy it made me realize how much I want to continue my modeling somewhere bigger. Void has also put allot of gigs my way which I am extremely thankful for.

Which brings me to my next subject, I am planning a trip up to New York City for the end of summer. I was going to try and make it happen a bit earlier but work is going to need me when it starts getting busy again at work, and being one of the two actual managers, I need to be there. That's fine though, I'm just fine to wait a bit and save up a good amount of money so that I'm comfortable while I'm in the city.