Monday, March 10, 2014


Waiting two weeks; being verbally abused pretty much everyday. Overly caring about someone who really couldn't care about theirselves well being, today is the day I cut it off. Last night at work, I had a friend of mine come in telling me that whatever I have going on to break it off because they are bad news. And I realized. They really are. I've had my depression go into a low just from them and my self worth has went into an all time low. We all have demons. But why take your said demons out on the person you supposedly care about? Realizing that you're better than the abuse and neglect and the future infidelity may make you upset and lonely right now but in the long run. In the long run I feel I will be the happiest.

With hope and balls. 

Sunday, March 9, 2014


I just can't seem to win at anything. 
I can't ever stay happy. I can't seem to find out what's going on with me. Is it me? Or is it him?

Thursday, March 6, 2014


It's crazy when someone can make you go from one extreme to the next.
You can go from utter happiness to complete sadness.
Maybe there's a lot of things I need to fix, no, I know that I have to fix a lot of things in my life to make myself and others happy. I'm always so busy and focused on making others happy when I get to my low point it's the lowest of the low.
Sunlight, I've heard can actually help with feelings of sadness.
It's been raining and gross the past few days and it's honestly getting to me in the worst of ways.
I'm pushing away people I don't want to push away and it sucks.

Happiness where are you?

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Insomnia At Her Finest

I have yet to be asleep and it is 7:15 in the morning. 
Listening to this big berrly man snore up a storm makes me laugh. 
If sounds so painful. 
I wish I knew what was going on in my mind to prevent me from sleeping even a wink..
What am I stressing? 
Is he sleeping next to me?
I'm sure that's what it is. 
I've grown far too attached to this wonderfully helpless man way too quickly. 
Insomia and I have always been rivals but I'm not sure why she's back..